Saturday, December 4, 2010

Making it ours.

Moving into a new house after 18 years in one place is not easy. It's a challenge on so many levels. It is amazing how much crap we can accumulate in that amount of time! The old house was our starter house. I had a 25' long rose bed, a Cheyenne pecan tree in memory of our oldest daughter who passed at the age of 31/2, and so much more. I let the rose bed waste away over the years as the trees grew & smothered out the sun light, and also because our 2nd daughter, Emily was born with a medical schedule that had me on a 3 hr cycle of care around the clock until she passed at 18 months. This was the only house our sweet girls ever knew. It's where all our great family memories happened. It's also where Emily passed, very unexpectedly, in my arms. Deciding to move was a big deal. It took years of patience as I waited for Nick to be ready to move on. The fear that we were once again saying goodbye took hold.

We knew their love goes with us, we knew we needed the move...or I should say I needed the move. But doing it was another story. This is the best time ever to get a house, the market is suffering and anyone who can make it happen should do whatever it takes to do so. We looked for two years for the "right house", my husband getting cold feet each time we found one we liked. Then we found another, only this time it was on his brother's street, 5 minutes from his parents. Location is good, but family is everything, especially when you are grieving the loss of a child. No one does it alone. The entire family has lost that child and we cling to one another more than ever. We got the house.


 Now I have a new rose bed, thanks to the loving care of the previous owners, and we have space to spread out so we can each retreat to our "space" when the grief takes hold. We hired two men and a truck to do the major pieces of the move, but we are attempting to do the rest ourselves. We still have the old house, so we can take our time moving out & saying goodbye before we sell it & walk away from it forever.

 The first night in the new house was more like a vacation in a hotel. Our bed was not put together yet so we slept on the sleep sofa & floor. We left our towels at the old house so we borrowed some from our sister-in-law. Walking back home across the street with her towels in hand I felt a bit like I had walked to the lobby to get some bath towels from the concierge!

David is adjusting well. He loves all his new space to spread out his toys, & play in the back yard.

 The rainbow is the symbol of our oldest, & the froggie is the symbol for our 2nd daughter. Everything we do is with them in mind. It keeps them alive for us. This is a detail shot of Nick's bathroom vanity.

 I love the new bathroom, a big deal since I loved the master bath in the old house so much. The previous owners painted the whole interior in a golden yellow, which is nice, but not my style. I am finding it is easily complimented with my favorite color: BLUE! So in come the blue accessories.

There is a lot of space we have nothing to fill...yet. David seems to be taking ownership of any unclaimed space he can by scattering his toys everywhere, leaving for me to pick up again & again & again...and I am so happy that I have this burden! I do it with joy.

I am almost done setting up my workroom, my retreat. I have set up a space for our son to play with my crafts as I work on quilts & scrapbooks. I am anxiously awaiting my new centerpiece, a beautiful dark wood table made for me by Koala Furniture. I still need to organize the supplies and hang the wall decor, but I already loving it.

This dress was Emily's. I made it for her and tucked it away in the closet. I found it again when I was packing up the old room and I am so excited to have it in my new workroom. Somehow it just feels like she is there right next to her brother playing with my craft supplies. I also have a shadow box holding a renaissance costume I made Cheyenne hanging in the room.

The bathroom in between my workroom & David's bedroom is going to be a combination of the dark blues in my workroom & the light blue in David's room. I have finished painting his room & his bedroom furniture is going to be brought in soon. More on that in another blog...

 As we get settled in, making the house ours, and starting a new chapter in a life we are still OK with, we are finding the girls hand in way more than we expected. Things are just working out for us in ways no one would ever imagine. An old couch from Nick's grandmother that never worked well in our first house goes amazingly well with the yellow walls in the new house. No need for painting this room! David's best friend in pre-school lives five minutes away now & it turns out that they will get to grow up together, going to all the same schools! We miss our beautiful girls more than words can say, but we know they are with us, they helped us find this house, they helped us move in, & they are living here with us every moment we carry their love in our hearts.


Lisa said...

The pictures look great! I can't wait to see it in person! You know I LOVE the BLUES!!! :-)

Jennifer said...

Wow. I underestimated how much you related to me. I so appreciate every detail you included about your girls. I had no idea you went through this. You mentioned to me some things when you wrote to me about my mother (who passed last Nov.)but now I can appreciate and feel your sympathy,empathy and pure sincerity. Thank you for being so kind to me. I hope to keep hearing more stories about the happy home you will all create-you, your husband,the girls and David. So happy for you that you braved the move. A new chapter is right-to many new chapters!
Love your choice of colors too : )
Can't wait to see your workspace set up.